'Christmas is cancelled – boring line-up means this year's Strictly has lost its sparkle'

There used to be three things of which we could be certain: death, taxes, and providing a guaranteed unmissable, exciting, cosy route to Christmas. But this time round, something’s wrong.

Asking with an extremely heavy heart – is it just me or is Strictly lacking its sparkle this year? Ploughing through it has so far has felt like a chore, a punishment, rather than the pure, much anticipated joy it usually is.

This has nothing to do with the allegations, the – none of that has been addressed on screen, and my main viewing companions have been little kids, who weren’t aware of it anyway. It’s a bigger problem than that, unfortunately.

The show is missing some crucial element you can’t quite put your finger on. It feels empty, soulless, like everyone’s just going through the motions. The magic isn’t happening.

Of course all casts can’t be incredible, and we were spoiled last year. and were all talented contestants we could happily root for, and there was also the life-affirming healing journey of recently widowed , in the gentle hands of Johannes Radebe.

But normally even if you’re a bit nonplussed when the line-up’s announced, there’s someone who unexpectedly steals your heart. This year? I mean, blind is obviously very impressive, but beyond that? Meh. They’re all so… normal.

Even the bad dances are boring. Think back to being dragged along the floor by , ’ Gangnam Style, being fired out of a cannon. isn’t even in the same football park.

Where are the surprises, like being a brilliant dancer against all odds, ’s leg going up that high?

Where are the moments that provide genuine happiness, like seeing celebrity superfan having the time of her life, having to come back and dance with his tail between his legs and getting his comeuppance, gracefully defying expectations?

This time there’s no one to care about. No-one to love, no-one to hate. And yes, it’s just a TV show but actually this really matters.

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Strictly is one of the times the country feels united. It’s tradition. It’s family viewing no-one is watching through gritted teeth. It’s getting together with friends for watch parties, bringing home-made voting paddles and cupcakes that have “Bobby Brazier” on them in barely legible icing because it turns out icing is really hard to do.

It’s an increasingly rare occurrence: old-fashioned, genuine event TV. A glittering highlight of every week in the coldest, darkest months of the year.

Not being bothered about Strictly feels like a loss, like something precious has been stolen from us. As though Christmas has been cancelled, or you’ve arrived on holiday to find the hotel not yet built. When Strictly triumphs, we all do. And when it doesn’t, it’s hard not to feel as much of a loser as whoever that bloke was who got voted out first.