When Abi Vance began her relationship with her current husband Chris Vance, she had no idea at the time the significant role his ex-partner Erin Harvey-Corner would have in her life. Initially, the women were cordial with each other when they first crossed paths in 2016, but by 2020, after being brought together by the pandemic, they developed a friendship.
By the time Erin was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in 2023, they were as close as siblings. "Chris and Erin's break-up wasn't amicable, so when Erin and I met, we didn't exactly hit it off," shares Abi, 40, a mindset coach from Anglesey, North Wales.
However, everything took a turn in January 2020 after Erin's youngest son Zac, aged three, tragically died in a caravan fire while visiting his father. When the lockdown was imposed just two months later, Abi couldn't stand the thought of Erin mourning alone, trapped in her home filled with memories.
"My heart went out to her after Zac was killed, and then we were plunged into lockdown," says Abi. "It might seem an unusual thing to do, but Chris and I had the space, so we asked her and her family to stay with us."
Erin, her partner Dan and her boys - Chris's son Alex, now 14, and Harley, now nine, from another previous relationship - relocated to the annex of Abi and Chris's five-bedroom house.
"It felt strange at first," admits Abi. "But it was lovely to see the children every day, and made all our lives more interesting. Over the months, Erin and I would sit outside together while the children played. We would chat about life and Erin began to open up to me."
"Over the next few years, we developed a sisterly relationship; we actually had lots in common. I helped her navigate her grief and our friendship blossomed as we started to grow into a close blended family."
When lockdown ended, Erin and her family returned to their home in Pontrhydfendigaid, Ceredigion, but the women remained close. So three years later when Erin started to feel unwell and lose weight. Abi encouraged her to go to the doctor. Just weeks later, in February 2023, Erin was diagnosed with stage three ampullary cancer.
"We all rallied round and told her she would pull through," Abi says. But in June 2023, Erin was told that the cancer had spread to her liver and was incurable. She was given six months to live.
"I burst into tears and told her not to be scared, that I would be there for her," Abi says. "I helped manage her appointments and helped with her kids. We made a bucket list of all the things she wanted to do before she died. She wanted to go camping with her children, to a festival, a concert of one of her favourite bands and to a market.
In a poignant moment in July 2023, she fulfilled another wish on her list by marrying Dan. "Chris and I also got married in October 2023, and Erin was a bridesmaid. She delivered an emotional speech that left everyone in tears," Abi remembers.
To fund Erin's bucket list experiences, Abi took part in fundraising activities - a local woman organised a coffee morning and Abi ran the Snowdonia half marathon, collectively raising £10,000.
Abi would assist Erin in getting ready for her medical check-ups while Dan accompanied her to chemotherapy sessions. Some days were more challenging than others, with Erin often feeling weak and struggling with simple tasks like dressing or preparing meals.
Erin began sharing her journey more frequently on social media, hoping to support others going through similar experiences. As Erin's health worsened, the families decided to celebrate Christmas early for her on 2 December 2023; by Christmas Day, Erin was largely confined to her bed.
"I bid farewell to my family and stayed at Erin's home with Dan and the boys to lend a hand," Abi shares. "Erin was worried about funeral costs, and so I turned to her TikTok followers to ask for donations. The response was overwhelming, raising £6,000. The rest of the money was to be used as an adventure fund for her sons."
On January 2, 2024, Erin shared a video of her last outing from home. Tragically, she passed away seven days later at the tender age of 31. In a heart-wrenching video, Abi tearfully informed Erin's TikTok followers of her best friend's passing.
"After her death, I grieved alongside her family and started fulfilling my promises to her, ensuring her children kept smiling and had adventures planned," Abi shares.
Abi remained true to her word to Erin, providing daily updates to her nearly 85,000 followers on her own TikTok account. However, in a distressing turn of events, trolls began to target Abi. "I've received a backlash from those who claim I'm cashing in," Abi reveals. Others criticised her appearance, body and hair.
After Abi's address was leaked online, a stranger harassed the family at their garden gate, while another reported them to social services. Yet among the flood of comments and messages were others desperately seeking help. "So many have said how they are unwell and have no one to care for them," Abi discloses.
"We had people reaching out to us saying they were dying too but that they didn't have 'an Abi' and that they were alone. We also had people who were caring for someone terminally ill who thanked us for sharing our journeys as it made them realise that there are others going through the same thing."
"The trolling has been heartbreaking, but I can't lose sight of my mission," says Abi. That mission is setting up Erin's Angels, a charity supporting people who are dying as well as their families. It's currently registered as a non-profit organisation.
"The next stage is to reach £5,000 in income so that we can register with the Charity Commission. We are doing this by selling Erin's Angels merchandise online and taking donations."
"As well as grieving my friend, I am distraught over the bullying," she says. "However, I refuse to stop sharing our story and want to continue to raise awareness of reducing the loneliness and ignorance out of death and dying."
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"As we approach the first anniversary of Erin's death in January, I know I am keeping my promises to one of the strongest and most courageous women I have ever had the pleasure to do life with. And that means I can sleep soundly at night."
