Strictly Come Dancing star Toyah Willcox revealed she was 'moments from taking her own life' when she was younger and living in London
The actress and singer, 66, is currently taking part in the BBC dance competition with dance partner Neil Jones. Over the weekend, she landed in the bottom two with Tom Dean and his partner Nadiya Bychkova but was saved by the judges. Toyah previously opened up about what life was like she was still trying to make it big.
In her early 20s, she lived in London and her route home included walking across a bridge that many people had jumped from. She explained: "The route from my flat took me across a bridge so I grew accustomed to the view from the bridge at dawn. In those days there was little traffic on the roads at 5am."
She said the bridge 'mesmerised her' and she 'understood why many a lonely person had jumped from it.' Toyah continued: "I contemplated jumping every time I crossed it. Sometimes because I was drunk and bolshie. But most of the time because I was heartbroken."
In her memoir Living Out Loud, Toyah added that loneliness and rejection used to be a 'big part of her life''. At one point, those feelings resulted in her trying to end her life at around 4.30am one morning as the 'sun was rising on the bridge'. She had returned from a 'succession of parties'.
"On the way home I stood watching the view from the bridge. It always made me cry," she said. "I thought to myself, ‘What would it be like to jump?’. So, looking around to make sure the coast was clear, I climbed the high railings and dared myself to jump. As I balanced on the railings I thought of Mum and Dad, my brother and sister and how they would feel. It would destroy them. I thought of ending all possibilities, and decided I didn’t ever want to jump. But by now it was too late.”
However, the next thing she knew, a hand grabbed her ankle and she almost fell forward. "A voice came, ‘Don’t do it. Just don’t do it’. I turned and it was a policeman. He was white as a sheet," she continued. "Where he appeared from I had no idea. There was no bicycle, no car, no footsteps. We talked for an hour…and parted friends.”
*If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch
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